A Tainted View of Perfection

I've wanted to write this particular blog for about 4 months and have had a hard time coming up with the actual words to say. A while back I wrote about my current thoughts on chick flicks, this blog is in no way a follow-up to that one, but it does make me stop and think about how to go about writing this one.

For the majority of my first semester at SEBTS, I have heard a lot of talk about how men need to "Man-Up" and although I think that is a fair assessment, I do not think that our current problem in society is all about men. Yes, I do feel that there is a real problem today with men not knowing what it means to be men of God. However, I would add that there is a real problem today with women not being women of God.

In the last two years I would say I have been asked if I'm dating someone or if/when I plan to get married roughly 500 times. That is no exaggeration. I am being completely serious and although I know many people who ask me that question are just showing interest in my life. Fundamentally there is nothing wrong with either one of those questions, the problem arises when I or other friends of mine who are in the same position begin to let those questions dictate our minds.

As women, we are more often than not consumed with our image and how people see us. I know that this looks different for all women, but the fact of the matter is at some level this is true for all women. It may not be an issue of weight for all women, it may in fact be an issue of hair color, skin tone, height, personality, etc. The real problem with this comes in to play when these fears of self-image are lined up against men.

Enter the curse of the chick flick. I have been watching Chick Flicks for as long as I can remember and every time I finish one I am either doing one of two things. I am normally wiping off a few tears from my eyes and thinking I want a guy like that or I'm not crying but still thinking I want a guy like that. We all know these movies and we all know that we love them. The problem is that for most females in the US, this is a form of pornography for us. I probably just lost a few of you there because you are so freaked out by that statement. Let me explain, at its core pornography is making something into a particular idea of perfection. Yes, for men that is most often portrayed in images but as women our minds are more controlled by emotions and ideas of what could be instead of images. So, we watch a movie like You've Got Mail and pull out the characteristics of Joe Fox that we love and think that he is the perfect guy for us or we read Pride and Prejudice and imagine what it would be like if we were Elizabeth Bennett.

Some of you probably still think I'm crazy for saying this, but I believe that at some level you are agreeing with me. I'm not saying that it is wrong to enjoy those movies or even those classic novels, but what I am saying is that when we pretend that these things can really happen, we are setting ourselves up for a lot of disappointment and heartache. The reality of the situation is that Mr. Darcy is not real and as much as we wish for some guy to sweep us off our feat it isn't going to happen. Not because men are jerks and can't do things like that, but because we should not be placing all of our hope in them. We have already been saved and we have already been shown all of the affection in the world. When we settle for things of this world that do not matter or fix our eyes on things that are temporary, we are missing out on something that is much greater and that is that we are a part of a story that is much greater than anything that we or Hollywood could have ever imagined. I for one want to be a part of a story that matters and to know that my role in that story is going to be the biggest thrill of my life.