The Oreo Cake that Rocked My World

I’m a list person.  I’ll admit it.  I make lists for everything.  My lists even include making lists for other things.  Grocery lists, packing lists, to-do lists, you name it there is a list.  Growing up I even made lists.  We all know that girls make their list of what type of guy they will marry.  Most of those list include the tall, dark and handsome qualities if we are being honest.  It might have included things like a good Christian, athletic, funny and probably about 20 other things.  Then there is the list about the children that you will have.  The list of names and the list of what types of characteristics they will have.   When it comes to the name list, I’m right there with Ross and Rachel and I probably say veto more than finding a name I like.  That list does exist in our house and yes Greg and I say veto often.  

What I didn’t realize is how interesting my list was for what sort of characteristics my future kids would have.  One of the most obvious ones is that I pray they do not get my nose.  I have my mother’s nose who has the nose of her dad’s family.   I wish often that the Spicer nose will end with me.  You think I’m joking, but sadly I’m not.  Ask my Mom, it is a real struggle.  A picture from my side is just sad.   Then there is the hope that they will not be as pale as me.  Insert laughter, I know.  Thankfully my odds look pretty good in that category.  

The real trait that I have secretly wished for is that my kids would not have a speech impediment like me.    I have prayed for a long time that this would be something that would just end with me.  I am so thankful that over the years it has been easier for me, but man do I hope it ends with me.  I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember and honestly hoped I would have just grown out of it.  I had speech pathology as a kid for a little while and it would help some but it would never fully go away.  I remember hating the phrase “popcorn reading” in school.  I would tense up and be on the verge of tears when those words came out of a teacher’s mouth.  I knew what words and letters were hard for me, so I would read ahead if I was called on to try and change those words to an easier synonym to say.  I hated public speaking, I put off a freshman level class in high school to my final semester of senior year simply because I dreaded it so much.  Little did I know that a certain speech teacher would change my entire view of what I believed was the worst thing about me.  

We had to give a demonstration speech.  I chose an obvious subject for me, cooking.  I loved cooking and it seemed like a natural choice for me.  I made a layered Oreo Cake that actually looked like an Oreo cookie.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I gave a 5 minute speech about how to make this cake and for the first time in my life I did not stutter at all in a public speech.  I actually didn’t even notice, my teacher did.  She pulled me aside after class and mentioned it.  My world froze in that moment.  We had realized something that no one else had.  When you are passionate about something, everything else seems to go out the window.  That fear of my stutter was gone because I felt comfortable and at peace.  

It’s safe to say that my stuttering is drastically different now than it was back then.  Do I still stutter?  Of course I do and I probably always will to some extent.  However, I’m comfortable in who I am and I no longer try to force certain conversations.  Yes, I still hate public speaking but I know that at times it is a reality and so I breathe and go on.  

We are created by a Creator who designs us specifically.  We each have different things 
that make us who we are and I am so thankful that I’m loved so much by a Creator who 
made me exactly how He saw fit.  

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”  Psalm 139: 13-14 ESV