Fear, You are Not Welcome Here

There is this four letter word that has been a part of my story from the beginning.  What is it?  It's FEAR.  Fear has been a reality in my life for years.  I remember vividly as a child hearing EVERY noise in the house at night.  I always thought that someone was breaking in.  Ask my parents, it's true.  There would be nights as a teenager that every bit of who I am wanted nothing more than to get out of bed and go sleep in my parents room.  Fear was my life.  Sadly, that has not changed much.  You can ask Greg.  It may not be every night, but often I will wake up in the middle of the night and thought I heard something.  Greg will say something to the effect of it is just the wind or it is the house settling.  That still makes no sense to me but that is another story.  Greg's favorite is when I think I see a spider in the room.  I think it is the huge spider and Greg will respond with it is pitch black in this room how do you see a tiny spider?  I then try to calm myself down and go back to sleep. 

As I got older Satan took the fact that I am a fearful person and used that even more in my life.  In my early 20s my biggest fear became that of a fear that I would never be able to have children.  How that came about is beyond me but Satan took that fear and ran with it.  Fast forward a few years to when we find out about Baby Harrison.  There was this burst of joy in me that said Satan you are wrong and this fear will not win anymore.  He quickly got to work and planted the fear of well what if this baby doesn't make it.  

Every time we have an appointment there is this little part of me that is hoping for the ultrasound right away just so I can hear that precious little heartbeat.  This past week when we went to our doctor we were there for 2 1/2 hours.  That little ultrasound did not come until the last half hour.  I was on pins and needles the whole time.  

I know that I should probably have been listening to what the doctor and nurse were telling me but all I could say to myself was Satan you will not win.  You have already been defeated and I will not let you take my joy from me.  This little baby is loved and prayed over daily.  I am not going to let fear win and I am going to take each day as a gift.  I am tired of living in fear of everything.  It's miserable and it is not worth it.  

God has created me with a purpose and He has everything in His hands.  There is no need to fear.  

Today, I will pray and proclaim these verses.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 34:4 

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.